Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
