I want to walk on stilts...naked
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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