McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
