So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
