so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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