i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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