We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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