My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
