lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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