so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Naked Twister starts at high noon
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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