It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
