PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
