I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
