If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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