Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
