oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Randomize
