These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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