the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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