hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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