proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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