The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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