4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
