Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
