maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
