I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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