I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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