jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
