We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
