Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i will never coherently bang her
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
