Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
