why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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