they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
is wine microwaveable?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
