Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
