member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
