these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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