I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
