Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
