What tipped you off? The sombrero?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
