I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
He is an equal opportunity slut.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
