maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
