Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
