Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
