if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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