i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
