Are we in a gay sports bar?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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