direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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