Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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