Christians are straight up FREAKS
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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