Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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