She's JV to your varsity
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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