My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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